LeBron Is Taking a LOT of L’s Lately

So who here likes LeBron, show of hands? Oh no one is raising their hand awkward in the air on the couch? Fine. I don’t like him either. But he is taking a ton of loses lately. I get it, he is in the limelight blah blah blah. So am I!!! Putting myself out here day in and day out. So exhausting.

Loss #1: His Hair

Can we all be real honest about his hair and say that he tried to get hair plugs, they didn’t work and now it looks terrible. Just take me out back and buzz my hair bald if i ever look as bad as LBJ.

lebron hair

Loss #2: His Twitter and Instagram Password*

LeBron is a one password for all things kind of guy. Maybe he has the Touch ID enabled so no one can Venmo themselves a quick $20,000, but the guy probably has “TheK1ngJamsZer023” as his password or something. Probably forgot his password when he broke his phone randomly on a bus to an away game. Which leads to Loss #3…

*This one is speculation

Loss #3: Zero Dark Thirty 23

Stupidest name ever. This is his excuse while he tries “Forgot My Password” from his laptop. He is attempting to ‘go dark’ on social media to focus on the playoffs, while ironically being all over social media. Also Zero Dark Thirty means like 12:30am in military time I believe, so just adding a 23 to the end is pretty stupid, because that means 12:30am 23. Dumbass.

zero dark 30 23.png

Loss #4: Great Lakes Brewing Company Controversy

My offical take was already written in a previous post, but he comes out a loser here if he does truly attempt to sue a small company over something that went viral. Absolutely headcase.

LeBron vs. GLBC

Loss #5: Racist Vandalism

I feel bad about this one. But still an L I have to cite. It is unfortunate that this happened. It’s sad that there are people in this word who can say mean things that really resonate on a different level and make us feel bad for another human. As much hatred as I have for what LeBron stands for, this one is an L he did not deserve, nor does anyone.

Loss #6: NBA Finals Game 1

LOL! He’s down 1-0 in the series. LeBron’s team stinks even though its a “super team”

Loss #7: NBA Finals Game 2

LOL x2!!!! He’s down 2-0 in the series. LeBron’s team really stinks and he does not have the clutch gene at all!

Loss #8 NBA Finals Game 3

LOL x3! LeBron definitely doesn’t have the clutch gene. 11% in the first three games shooting in the fourth quarter?!? Some king you are…

Future Loss #1: NBA Finals

I mean throw in the towel dude. Move to the Clippers or Lakers, join Carmelo, Chris Paul, D-Wade with the Clippers and try to make a senior citizen attempt at an NBA finals, but get stopped in the Division Round by the Warriors or Spurs.

Future Loss #2: Not as Good as MJ After NBA Finals Loss 

MJ won a bunch of titles, and LeBron is chasing his shadow. Is LeBron a better raw talent? Probably. He defies gravity. Is he a tool? Absolutely. Is he the best player to ever play the game? No. Michael Jordan will have 6 rings. He went 6 for 6. LeBron is impressive for going to 7 NBA finals, but to only have 3 rings is just sad, especially with the super teams he has had. MJ had to face some strong teams in the East to win those 6 and go out and win in the Finals. LBJ has a good supporting cast and STILL CAN’T GET IT DONE.

lebron mj


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