Things I Would Rather Spend $1000 on Instead of the New iPhone

There are a bunch of things you can do that is important with $1000. You can rent an apartment, cover a year’s worth of utilities probably, save it, invest it, buy your girl a few nicer gifts throughout the year. I like to live on edge. Future Bill will worry about rent this month. Future Bill can figure out what to get a girl a day before it’s her Birthday (Side note: Great gift giver ladies and I never do this). The $1000 that the iPhone is going for can be spent a lot of different ways and there are a bunch of articles saying you can buy X number of this thing instead. This article is exactly the same damn thing. The numbers are from Philly area, so debate away on how much stuff actually costs.

  1. 50 4-packs of your favorite $20 per 4-pack beer. That’s 200 of those Tired Hands IPA’s or Other Half, Monkish, The Veil, Tree House, Pure Project etc.
  2. 217 6-packs of Bud Light (ew…that’s how shitty it is) BTW that is over 1300 Bud Lights, or a normal frat party at Alabama. Remember folks, that sorority girl is probably your cousin 😉
  3. 11 tickets as a non-member a single session or almost 4 tickets to each session for the Great American Beer Festival (GABF). Literally can invite Jon, Kate, the plus 8 and yourself. Side note: what the hell ever happened to them?
  4. 20 Years worth of Untappd Supporter status (assuming the 1-year rate) I would be 55 by the time my Supporter status was over for perspective as a 25 year old
  5. 100 of these things for your ‘stacheScreen Shot 2017-09-20 at 9.17.58 PM.png
  6. 8 Fizzics because you need one for every room in your house
  7. 5 Yeti coolers that hold 20 beers. One for each of my vacation homes
  8. 11 kegs of Natural Light. That is 1540 12 oz. glasses of urine you just wasted your money on. Go jump off a cliff if you considered this one at all.

One thought on “Things I Would Rather Spend $1000 on Instead of the New iPhone

  1. Pingback: Craft Beer Vigilantes | September Vigilante Roundup

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